Boss is hitting on secretary. Boss' wife calls. Secretary answers phone. Tells his wife that "he's about to come"... play on words "he's about to cum (come to the phone)"
Date Aug 16, 2009UserzippRating QuestionableScore1(vote up)
(In this sense "Latin" I think means "to speak figuratively" ... so "Latin Fisherman" would be exaggerating the truth about the size of what you caught... in this case she's over-exaggerating to her friends how big the guy she fucked was.)
Date Aug 16, 2009UserzippRating QuestionableScore1(vote up)
A couple visits another couple. Turns out they're nudists.
Lady's upset that he didn't warn her, and makes a remark that her husband is probably trying to do a wife-swap with the other guy.
Husband says they're naturalists (nudists) not sex maniacs.
Lady is still uncomfortable, and says something along the lines of "it's not a lifestyle that should be approved of".
Husband says "live and let live".
He then reassures her with something along the lines of "Besides, she's quite plump/chubby. So, Robert's into something else, too, right?" (IE: he's telling his wife that Robert, the nudist guy, is into fat chicks... so he wouldn't want his skinny wife anyways).
His wife is placated by this statement and tells her husband she loves him.
The plump nudist wife says a literal translation "I get so big you. I put the pan on the fire." .. I think this means "I'm getting ahead of myself, I need to check the cooking." (IE: she's getting ahead of herself, and before she can come out to entertain the guests she needs to check the cooking.)
She burns her tits over the pan's popping grease.
Her nudist husband says "Wow, this is the first time she's prepared 'roast breast' for guests!" (eluding to chicken breast, but referring to her tits)
Date Aug 16, 2009UserzippRating QuestionableScore1(vote up)
"It worked, guys! They all follow her like dogs in heat! We'll be able to go home an early tonight!"
"What a great kid (girl)!"
"This is the third time this week!"
(IE: all the guys get horny from this chick hanging out at the club naked. So, they have to bolt to the bathroom when she leaves to either go jerk off in the showers then head home, or get dressed and go home to jerk off... either way, all the guys leave the health club early, and the cleanup crew gets to close up shop early. So, they're thankful that this chick keeps showing up.)
Date Nov 25, 2009UserzippRating QuestionableScore1(vote up)
He married a woman that all the men like to sleep with. He's too much of a pushover, so all the guys take advantage of his wife in front of him and act like she's their wife instead of his.
Guy in blue suit at the bar sympathizes, but asks "well, is she at least good in bed?"
Guy responds "I don't know actually. One says yes. The other says no." (to insinuate he's never slept with her, but some of his buds think she's a good fuck while others don't think so).
Essentially it's a comic about a cuckold marrying the town whore.
Date Nov 25, 2009UserzippRating QuestionableScore3(vote up)
Today we had sex ed. We learned that the man produces sperm through-out his whole life while the woman has a limited amount of eggs that she's born with at birth.
They head up-stairs.
Mother comes up-stairs.
Kids are fucking on the bed while watching porn and reading porn magazines.
Mother thinks they're doing their homework.
(ba-dum-DUM)
Date Aug 16, 2009UserzippRating QuestionableScore1(vote up)
(I think this one is pretty self-explanatory, but this may clear up the choppy translation)
Girl's libido has plummeted, and her man's frustrated with her.
Her friend gives her "ancient chinese secret" medicine to kick her libido up. Says that it will affect both her and her husband, because once her husband fucks her it'll get into his system, too.
They see each other gain later. Friend asks if the libido medicine worked.
Girl says it sure has, she's have more orgasms now then she's ever had before.
Friend asks "and your husband? Is he still having just one? more?"
Girl says "I don't know, I haven't been home since I drank the stuff" (to insinuate she's either off masturbating furiously on her own, or she's so horny she's fucking tons of random guys instead of her husband)
Anonymous
2015-09-24 17:50:27>> #198625
Anonymous
2015-09-24 17:48:07>> #198622
[If you think only men speak Latin fisherman...]
[Well, you're mistaken grievously...]
(In this sense "Latin" I think means "to speak figuratively" ... so "Latin Fisherman" would be exaggerating the truth about the size of what you caught... in this case she's over-exaggerating to her friends how big the guy she fucked was.)
Anonymous
2015-09-24 17:44:20>> #198620
(girl reaches into his pants) "And all these magic tricks were performed with a really tiny 'magic wand'."
Anonymous
2015-09-24 17:42:38>> #198619
"Gerard! Charles!" (the names of the two guys fucking the girls)
"shit, the boss! He'll be here soon! Run and hide! Do not make a peep!"
(boss) "Those two reels procession (dicks?) are never here when you need them!"
(boss) "If I find them, I'll cut them open!"
Can't really find much of a punchline in this, so there may be some culturally-specific slang going on here that is funnier in Dutch then English.
Anonymous
2015-09-24 17:34:34>> #198618
Lady's upset that he didn't warn her, and makes a remark that her husband is probably trying to do a wife-swap with the other guy.
Husband says they're naturalists (nudists) not sex maniacs.
Lady is still uncomfortable, and says something along the lines of "it's not a lifestyle that should be approved of".
Husband says "live and let live".
He then reassures her with something along the lines of "Besides, she's quite plump/chubby. So, Robert's into something else, too, right?" (IE: he's telling his wife that Robert, the nudist guy, is into fat chicks... so he wouldn't want his skinny wife anyways).
His wife is placated by this statement and tells her husband she loves him.
The plump nudist wife says a literal translation "I get so big you. I put the pan on the fire." .. I think this means "I'm getting ahead of myself, I need to check the cooking." (IE: she's getting ahead of herself, and before she can come out to entertain the guests she needs to check the cooking.)
She burns her tits over the pan's popping grease.
Her nudist husband says "Wow, this is the first time she's prepared 'roast breast' for guests!" (eluding to chicken breast, but referring to her tits)
Anonymous
2015-09-24 17:19:26>> #198616
"It worked, guys! They all follow her like dogs in heat! We'll be able to go home an early tonight!"
"What a great kid (girl)!"
"This is the third time this week!"
(IE: all the guys get horny from this chick hanging out at the club naked. So, they have to bolt to the bathroom when she leaves to either go jerk off in the showers then head home, or get dressed and go home to jerk off... either way, all the guys leave the health club early, and the cleanup crew gets to close up shop early. So, they're thankful that this chick keeps showing up.)
Anonymous
2015-09-24 17:08:37>> #198614
He married a woman that all the men like to sleep with. He's too much of a pushover, so all the guys take advantage of his wife in front of him and act like she's their wife instead of his.
Guy in blue suit at the bar sympathizes, but asks "well, is she at least good in bed?"
Guy responds "I don't know actually. One says yes. The other says no." (to insinuate he's never slept with her, but some of his buds think she's a good fuck while others don't think so).
Essentially it's a comic about a cuckold marrying the town whore.
Anonymous
2015-09-24 17:00:12>> #198613
Anonymous
2015-09-24 16:58:48>> #198612
They head up-stairs.
Mother comes up-stairs.
Kids are fucking on the bed while watching porn and reading porn magazines.
Mother thinks they're doing their homework.
(ba-dum-DUM)
Anonymous
2015-09-24 16:56:35>> #198611
Girl's libido has plummeted, and her man's frustrated with her.
Her friend gives her "ancient chinese secret" medicine to kick her libido up. Says that it will affect both her and her husband, because once her husband fucks her it'll get into his system, too.
They see each other gain later. Friend asks if the libido medicine worked.
Girl says it sure has, she's have more orgasms now then she's ever had before.
Friend asks "and your husband? Is he still having just one? more?"
Girl says "I don't know, I haven't been home since I drank the stuff" (to insinuate she's either off masturbating furiously on her own, or she's so horny she's fucking tons of random guys instead of her husband)